Ennui

Back at Kids' Only Market yesterday, feeling even more too old to be working there, let me tell you! 34 seems so definitively... well, almost middle-aged, if we're talking three-score years and ten. I know, I know, it's all about how you feel, etc. Well dammit, when I'm at the kite store, I see that almost everyone else who works in that market is either a) the store owner or b) some little college student earning her rent money and I feel that I'm getting closer to the owners' age than the students'. However, on the plus side, as it's pretty quiet there in the fall and winter, I am perfecting my juggling skills (we sell juggling balls, along with the kites & puppets) and yesterday I had a major breakthrough, probably because I practiced for a couple of hours. Quick, add another skill to the resume!

We closed "Letters" last weekend, and of course, it already feels like years have passed since then. Certain emails drift to us from different cast members indicating that they miss the whole experience... J & I on the other hand, aren't feeling the post-show blues so much this time. Sadly, if we'd pushed the run dates back another week we would have had much better weather than we had to endure. As it was, we were rained out 3 nights out of 10!

My body, perhaps, is feeling the post-show blues, even if my mind denies them. Ever have times when you don't have a specific illness but you feel as if your body is not quite right? I feel restless, slightly grumpy; my tummy seems dissatisfied with any and all food I try to feed it... I think it may be time for another cleanse or some such thing... at least I've been smoke-free since the show ended. I saw a David Mamet movie called Redbelt last night and it inspired me to get healthier and learn a martial art or some such thing. But gyms seem to charge a lot of money for their classes...

Anyway, this is a time of transition, which I never seem to find comfortable. I seem to be doomed to be caught in the middle between 2 warring sides of me; one that hates routine and the other that fears change. Still, there are exciting things afoot: piano lessons start next week, J & I fly to Edmonton for a wedding next weekend, I have meetings about a new project that could be very exciting...

Now I need to get healthy so I can face the Autumn with all the confidence I require.